Archive for June, 2007

拿出一張紙和一枝筆, 回答下面幾個問題:
1. 目前最想做的事? 或是短期內最想完成的目標?
2. 目前最困擾你的問題? 或是令你傷心難過的事?
3. 最近一次令你感到開心的事?
4. 最近一次作過的好事? (是真的作好事的好事喔!)
1. 讓體脂肪降到最低!  ~變得很魔鬼~  (這個答案是從幾百個慾望中篩選出來比較不花錢或者說花最少錢能完成的目標.)
2. 臉上長出好多小痘痘! 好醜!  (其實我想好久才硬擠出這個答案, 原來我的日子過的這樣無憂啊!)
3. 前天晚上去吃小火鍋, 我幫女兒夾肉夾菜到她碗裡, 女兒說 " 馬麻, 謝謝妳~"  (很開心她開始懂得表達感謝, 只是有點不習慣, 覺得背後涼涼的…)
4. ………………………  (我真的想不出來!!!)

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What am I gonna do with you?

Dear Paula,
There is one thing I must let you know about me.  Which is I am not a person with much patience!
But I do love you, that is for sure.
We have spent 13 years together.  Ok… minus those two years and a half when I was in Hawaii with Benito, we still have got alone for 10 years and a half.  It is quite long and must mean something to us — both of us!
I know you are no longer young.   So am I.  We will face some kind of illness, which we can’t avoid it when we growing old.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you are old, neither am I; yet you are very physically mature as a 13-year-old cat.
According to the past cohabiting expereinces, you should know that everything I do is for your own good.
I will never harm you and you know that, too.  Even maybe I did hurt you somehow, it never happened by purposely.
What I am trying to say is I am about to sick of chasing after you just for helping you with the medical treatment.
You should realize how serious your dermatosis is.  And you shouldn’t have scratched your neck every time when the scar was almost healed.
The doctor said you have to take the Sporanox for at least two months.  My goodness!  You think you are the only one yelling "Oh shit" ?!
I am crying in heart every time when I pay for the medicine.  It is so expensive and will never be included in insurance coverage, so I don’t wanna see any waste for what I paied!
Why are you so scared about taking Sporanox?  It doesn’t even have any taste.  All you need to do is to open your mouth and swallow those teeny tiny pellets.  And it’s done!
Once you tried to dodge my feeding, the pellets will fall around the floor.  Then I will have to pick them up and do it again.
You have got to realize that you will have to take them all no matter you like it or not.
Please… for making both of us comfortable, let’s do it gently… and friendly.
If you tried to bite me again… I swear god you will regret to dead!
As I said, everything I’v done is for loving you.  I am looking forward to see you recover and be happy and beautiful again.
The final success is only built on our continuously cooperation, and the intimately trust.
It really makes me feel so bad when I see your skin getting worse.  The scar on your neck is accusing me of carelessness.  Which I am not!
I use my finger to spread the ointment on you.  I sleep next to you.  I don’t mind that you snored loudly.
I care about you!  I want you to have a happy latter part of your life.  No illness, no pain.
Please, just be brave and follow the doctor’s advice.  I believe we will be good.

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我納悶自己當時在想什麼……  是為對他的些許欽慕? 還是對自己的試探? 讓我終究硬著頭皮赴這場約.
我無法不去回想, 比較這相隔一年後的差別; 沒有了酒精, 我們的相處的確變得既生疏又尷尬.
難道, 那個風流倜黨放浪不羈的形象, 只是酒過三旬後的幻相嗎?
眼前這人, 現在看來是如此乏味, 沒有對生命熱情的光環, 只有一身的疲憊和老態.
我暗自慶幸自己過去沒有太為他瘋狂, 卻也為此同情他已光芒不再.
"晚年孤寂…" 我禁不住要這麼想……
我想離開, 因為對這樣的落差有些感傷; 但我還是留了下來, 企望從他身上帶走些能喚回過去的深刻印象.
然而故事的結局並不讓人欣喜, 我只挖掘到一連串的無味和失望…… 儘管, 他是那麼地努力, 試圖營造出一些些的驚喜.
最後, 我沒能等到最後, 因為不忍卒睹, 我還是提前離開了.
我告訴自己, 以後, …… 不會有以後了, 就當他從未在我心中駐足過.

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